As I posted in my last entry, sometimes we just need to be patient and allow things to unfold on their own. On Monday, early morning, Tommy texted me that he needed a break. This isn’t uncommon with Aspies. I respected it. I was sad for a little bit.
I’m feeling better; after some thought, Tommy needs space and I need some space too. Not contacting him doesn’t show that I don’t care, it’s quite the opposite. I’m going to let him reach out to me first. In the interim, I have a life. I’m not going to take down the photos and I’m going to continue wearing the bracelet he gave me. I’m also going to stop the self-blame and remind myself that “this is not a Jessica issue.” My kindness didn’t ruin anything.
I am loved and not only by him. I’m loved by friends, family, this community, some co-workers from the library, my old jobs, and my new job. I bring light into the lives of others; I’m strong, I’m kind, I’m honest, I’m brave, and so many other positive things (as well as negative things, but I am loved regardless).
Hi, Jessica Marie!
This is a very mature approach to the situation, dear friend. If and when Tommy needs a timeout, you’ve got your Plan B all set to put into action. Fall back and resume doing all the fun, exciting and educational things your have always enjoyed. When you stay busy and involved and connected with all the other people and aspects of your life, you don’t have time to dwell on disappointments or over-analyze what’s going on with Tommy. I’m sure he appreciates how you are handling things. He might reach out to you tomorrow, or it could take a while longer. In the meantime, you will be AOK, grooving out on life as is your style. At some point, you might be the one who needs a break, and it will be up to him to respect your wishes and accept it as graciously as you are now.
Thanks for remembering Helen Ettline as Dell rats old and new continue to love and miss her nearly four decades after her death. Enjoy the rest of your week, dear friend JM!
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