Weekend with Tommy | 25-26 June 2022

Tommy surprised me on Saturday. I wasn’t planning to spend the night at Tommy’s since his parents were iffy about it in the past. Well, he called me up and told me it was okay to stay on Saturday.

Fortunately, I didn’t need to pack a lot. I just threw some clothes and pajamas into a duffle bag, along with toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, medicine, tattoo lotion, and popcorn. I was so excited to spend the night; and Tommy was just as excited.

I got there at 3pm, and we embraced. We planned birthday weekend and since Tommy is going to start a new job soon, he didn’t want to chance being away on my birthday. We were thinking about Boston, but it’ll be better in the fall, for both of us. I suggested staying in Atlantic City for 2-3 July and he loved that idea. We’ll spend birthday weekend together.

We went to Walmart, he bought more Hot Wheel tracks, and we went back to his house to race. We spent some time in the garage, greasing the track and talking about the outlawing of abortion. We’re both upset. As someone who struggles with period issues, this is scary. Could the progesterone only challenge I had to take in my 20s be outlawed? Can the birth control I take now be outlawed? I hope not.

As a rape survivor, while I’m glad at that time I was unable to get pregnant, I might have been given Plan B. I was given so many medications then, I couldn’t keep up with all that they gave me in the aftermath. As I told Tommy, “if I would have gotten pregnant and if Roe v. Wade wasn’t law, there could have been a possibility that Brandon could have fought for parental rights. Since he died, that could have raised other issues. It makes me scared to think of women who are raped in the post-Roe world and if they don’t go to a back alley, they may be forced to deal with their rapist in child custody battles. That’s double the trauma.” Tommy just said, “that’s fucked up.” It truly is. We, along with millions of Americans, are devastated. Not only abortion is at risk, but so is IVF – infertile women are screwed too. Women are chattel now.

That discussion worked up an appetite. We ordered Chick Fil-A, and had a delicious dinner. Tommy’s a picky eater, I’m gluten-free and Chick Fil-A is just easy for us. A lot of these types of restaurants are easy for us.

After dinner and a shower, we just relaxed. He told me, “this is the first time I’ve been allowed to have a girlfriend over and in my bed.” I smiled and said, “we’re doing a lot of firsts together.” He smiled too and I added, “I never felt this way about anyone before.” “Me neither, babe.”

Fuzz joined us and cuddled with us. He stayed next to my side for the evening. I love cats and I had to see his cat, Holly. Holly loved me, she cuddled up next to me and allowed me to give her some head kisses. Tommy joined me and Holly loved the attention. Fuzz got jealous.

Fuzz wasn’t really into selfies. Oh well.

We stayed up til 1am, eating popcorn, playing video games, then taking Fuzz outside. It felt great to cuddle up with Tommy outside as we watched Fuzz. It was a humid night and the stars shone brightly.

Once inside, we went to bed. We woke up at 11:45 am on Sunday and that had to be the best sleep I had in a while. His bed is comfortable and it always feels great sleeping cuddled next to him. He felt the same way – he had a few nightmares, which woke me up, and I held him tightly. He loved that.

When we woke up, we planned Atlantic City. We’re going to be staying in Pleasantville, which is a 14 minute Lyft ride to Atlantic City. It was cheaper staying in a hotel in Pleasantville since it’s further out. Honestly, I don’t care where we stay and what we do, I just love being with Tommy. Tommy and I talked about things we can do next weekend and we’re super excited. Lucy the Elephant, the beach, boardwalk games, maybe the casinos.

After planning, we made our way downstairs. Fuzz greeted me and cuddled next to me. Tommy’s dad said, “Fuzz seems to really like you. He loves the attention.” Tommy came downstairs and we had gluten-free cheerios for breakfast while watching YouTube videos.

Since yesterday was super hot, we spent most of the day inside, playing video games. I also introduced him to more KMFDM, which he really loved. He loved these two songs the most:

I also played Jack off Jill and Otep for him. He said, “Jack off Jill wasn’t appropriate for school.” I laughed and said, “that is why I listened to the CD on my walkman. No one could hear what I listened to through headphones.” He laughed. He thought Otep sounded like a guy and was surprised she was a girl. Otep is a Lesbian, but I guess she probably thought that if she wants to make it in metal, sounding like a guy was it? Or that could just be her style. Tommy seemed to like “Blood Pig,” and “Jonestown Tea” was a bit too intense for him. I told him, “yeah, she is a little intense. For a while in 2014, I couldn’t listen to ‘Jonestown Tea,’ it took me a few years to be comfortable with that song again.” Tommy liked listening to what I loved in middle and high schools, and still love.

I’m going to post “Jonestown Tea” to illustrate what I’m talking about. TRIGGER WARNING!

We played video games as we listened and that seemed to put me in the racing video game mindset. I guess metal tends to do that!

Also, we decided to not do anything for the snowboarding game. By doing nothing, we both won. How comical!

We stayed in our pajamas all day. It felt nice. All that headbanging, laughing, and racing made us hungry. We ordered gluten-free pizza and non gluten-free pepperoni pizza from Pica’s. Although it was 95 degrees outside, we decided to eat outside.

We played some more video games and Tommy decided to race. After about an hour, Tommy decided to try to teach me how to ride a bike. I’m trying. He had to guide me, to help with balance. I have a wonderful and patient teacher.

I didn’t want to go home, and Tommy didn’t want me to go home either. I left at 7:15 and I thanked his dad for letting me stay. He smiled and said, “you’re very welcome. See you next time!” As I waited for Lyft, I took a lovely selfie with Tommy in the living room.

We had a great weekend and I felt so comfortable in his home. I felt so at peace. His dog and cats love me, I’m welcomed, and it just felt so good being with the love of my life. I can’t wait for birthday weekend.

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Creator of the Happiness Box Project Initiative, a project where you write your happiness or gratitude each day, then open the box in the New Year. The Initiative is to teach joy and gratitude, to pass it on to others.

One thought on “Weekend with Tommy | 25-26 June 2022”

  1. Hi, Jessica Marie!

    I’m thrilled that you had such a great time sleeping over at Tommy’s house, dear friend! You guys spent the weekend doing many of the things you both love. You reminded me of John & Yoko when you stated that you spent so much of the time in bed in your pajamas. I envy you. Tommy’s folks welcomed you and his animals warmed-up to you and wanted lubbins. Can’t beat that!

    Yessum, the political landscape in America continues to grow more bleak. I fear that the Roe decision will precipitate a domino effect, with more and more rights being stripped from women, gay persons and other minorities. We need to stop this erosion!

    With that in mind, I was especially drawn to these additional recordings by the German industrial band KMFDM, particularly the spoken piece “Dogma” from the band’s 1996 album Xtort. Original titled “Indictment,” the intense social commentary poem was penned and recited on the KMFDM album by Nicole Blackman, a New York performance artist, poet, author, and vocalist who is heavily into the goth, spoken word and transgressive literature scenes. Me likey! I also enjoyed the second cut, “From Here On Out,” a song from the 2003 album WWIII. If I am not mistaken, the lead vocals on that one were performed by New Yorker Lucia Cifarelli, formerly with the NYC alt. hard rock band Drill. I also like Otep Shamaya. I own a couple of her band’s albums and posted her videos on my old blog years ago. Yessum, the incestuous rape song “Jonestown Tea” is very intense, but I respect Otep’s awareness and artistry. Another alternative metal queen, Maria Brink, explored the topic in recordings with her band In This Moment.

    I’m excited that you and Tommy made plans for a birthday weekend getaway to Atlantic City. I hope the weather cooperates and you guys continue to solidify your relationship. It’s coming on like gangbusters!

    Enjoy the rest of your week, dear friend JM!


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