As I posted in my last entry, sometimes we just need to be patient and allow things to unfold on their own. On Monday, early morning, Tommy texted me that he needed a break. This isn’t uncommon with Aspies. I respected it. I was sad for a little bit.
I’m feeling better; after some thought, Tommy needs space and I need some space too. Not contacting him doesn’t show that I don’t care, it’s quite the opposite. I’m going to let him reach out to me first. In the interim, I have a life. I’m not going to take down the photos and I’m going to continue wearing the bracelet he gave me. I’m also going to stop the self-blame and remind myself that “this is not a Jessica issue.” My kindness didn’t ruin anything.
I am loved and not only by him. I’m loved by friends, family, this community, some co-workers from the library, my old jobs, and my new job. I bring light into the lives of others; I’m strong, I’m kind, I’m honest, I’m brave, and so many other positive things (as well as negative things, but I am loved regardless).