National Coming Out Day

It’s National Coming Out Day! Reminder I’m ace, demiromantic and use she/her pronouns. Please remember, asexuality just means the person isn’t sexually attracted to someone else. They’re not prudes, immature, child-like, or robots. Asexuality is a spectrum, from ace to gray ace to demisexuality.

Sex positive aces will have sex, as do aces with a libido, and sometimes they will compromise with partners.

Then there are sex neutral aces who don’t really care about the act, and some may have it, and some may not. Sex averse, doesn’t care what people do, but they definitely don’t want to be touched. Where sex repulsed aces don’t like hearing about people talking about private details and they definitely don’t want to be touched.

I’m somewhere between neutral and averse. I’m not sexually attracted to anyone and I will not compromise for anyone. What makes this different than celibacy is, for me this isn’t a choice. I have never been sexually attracted to anyone. I’ve always seen people as friends.

However, since I do develop crushes if there is an emotional connection, I am demiromantic rather than aromantic or alloromantic (allo simply means they are sexually or romantically attracted to others). I do develop crushes, but any relationship would have to be platonic. That’s why I mostly stick to friendships.

Even though I am on the aspec (asexual spectrum), I am not a robot. I still love hugs, I still love cuddling up to people, and I like affection. I still feel love.

I’m proudly open about my orientation. I’m proudly open about my journey. Like many others in the LGBTQ+ community, acephobes may try to “correct” the person. Many times an ace person isn’t believed. “Oh, you just haven’t met the right person!” Or “I can change that for you!”

Almost 8 years ago, someone tried to “correct” me. Their act didn’t really change my identity, however, they have made me loud and proud about who I am. Okay, okay, not right away. It’s been a journey with a lot of therapy, and it took me a long time to be okay with myself. I am who I am and I am proud of who I am.

I learned about myself when I became an ally at WCU in October 2011. I never knew “asexuality” existed and once I learned about it, it sounded just like me. I’ve been out since 2018.

Happy National Coming Out Day, y’all! 🙂

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Creator of the Happiness Box Project Initiative, a project where you write your happiness or gratitude each day, then open the box in the New Year. The Initiative is to teach joy and gratitude, to pass it on to others.

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