When Friendships End

I know that this is a Happiness Box Project, but loss and sadness are all parts of life. I don’t believe in toxic positivity and think that expression of all feelings leads to a healthy life. A healthy individual experiences all emotions and works through them.

We all need a support system and friends are a healthy part of life. Unfortunately, some friendships don’t last. Some enter for a season, but there is a reason for the season, and some seasons are longer than others. We all grow and change, it’s an inevitable part of life and sometimes good friends don’t follow us. It happens and while it is sad, one really can’t place blame. One reflects and moves on.

Marsha and I aren’t friends anymore. She cited I have too many personal and anxiety issues, which I should get professional help for. I disagree, I was getting professional help and while it helped during the sessions and I can apply to most things in life, with the advent of COVID-19 and being in most of the time, the triggers are unavoidable. Therapy over the phone is not private and I’ve done therapeutic chat rooms that help. However, I don’t believe that was the main reason. I am of a different religion and to some Christians, if they can’t “save” you, you’re a lost cause.

I was actually reevaluating the friendship a few weeks ago when I saw some cards from her that emphasized Jesus and the Christian holidays. She knows how I feel about it all and disregarded. I never really noticed, but since I am cleaning out for new carpets, I saw and I saw it for what it was. I come from a diverse background and I love diversity. We were growing apart and that is okay.

I cut ties and for my sanity, I will not be reevaluating the friendship. She was in my life for a season, the season had a reason, but I am on a different path and I don’t want to be judged harshly for it. That is okay. No blame placed, just a mutual agreement that things weren’t working out.

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thehappinessboxproject

Creator of the Happiness Box Project Initiative, a project where you write your happiness or gratitude each day, then open the box in the New Year. The Initiative is to teach joy and gratitude, to pass it on to others.

2 thoughts on “When Friendships End”

  1. Hi, Jessica Marie!

    You are not alone in coping with the loss of a longtime friendship. Mrs. Shady has cut off all communication with two of her sisters because of their ongoing support for Donald Trump, stating that they are dead to her and no longer welcome in our house. Rifts that developed four or more years ago are reaching the breaking point among friends and family members, and many relationships are splitting apart. The strain of living all these months under COVID restrictions has also taken its toll on relationships. While I am surprised and saddened that your friendship with Marsha has ended, I know you will be alright going forward because you make friends easily. Sometimes a person cites a specific reason for withdrawing from your life but cannot or will not tell the truth and state the real reason why the friendship has become untenable. Perhaps, as you indicated, the real reason, the main reason why Marsha curtailed the friendship is because she is put-off by your journey of discovery with other religions. If the real reason, the main reason, is because she could no longer handle her supportive role in helping you with your dark moods and anxiety issues, then we must respect her for needing to take care of herself and avoid being dragged down with you. For any friendship to go the distance, the rewards need to outweigh the unpleasant aspects. Maybe, in Marsha’s reality, the friendship reached the tipping point where she was investing too much of herself in the support role and not getting enough in return.

    Turn the page and move forward. The next best friendship is waiting in the wings. Learn from every experience, good or bad. That’s how you grow.

    Have a good week, dear friend JM!

    Like

    1. Hi Tom,

      I’m sorry to hear about Mrs. Shady and her siblings. I’m in the same boat too. I think we’re all in the same storm, but different boats. Some boats are bigger than others and some boats have more life preservers than others.

      Marsha’s boat might have only had a finite number of life preservers and she is trying to self-preserve. I am too. Such is life, especially during difficult times, and that is how we grow.

      Like

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