Since I’ve been sequestered in the house since mid-March, I’ve been working on Happiness Box scrapbooks and the box. As I’ve been working on the scrapbook and since I’ve been seeing kindness all around me while I walk, I was doing some thinking.
I was having a heart-to-heart with Marsha, Christina, and Claire on Monday night and I basically said, I’m so hard on myself. Living with my parents isn’t shameful, a lot of us are in this boat. I’m not ready to move, although mom may threaten kicking me out, she doesn’t want me to move, and I’m not in a position to do so. I need to take my time and I need to follow my own time line. I’ve always been a slow person and that is okay. I think I’m the one who judges myself the harshest, I doubt others judge me as harshly as I judge myself. Also, I need to stop resenting the hell out of the Philadelphia Area. Resenting it won’t make things go any quicker, in fact, I think resenting the hell out of this city has held me back. They agreed.
Yesterday I also shared with them that I’m going to start saving to go back to school and maybe in Canada. Wherever I go to school, I will be moving. I’m thinking of going for a MFA in writing and teach writing to college students. Teachers and professors wanted me to go on to get my MFA, but that scared mom. Becoming a professor scared mom because it’s not really well paying and job security. Well, it depends, just like in the corporate world. I was thinking about that and while I would like to help people, maybe I’m a better fit of teaching people how to write and who knows, maybe I could also be a mentor to college students. I had to have one when I was an undergrad, we all did. I had other mentors too.
There are no guarantees in life. Life happens to us and it is up to us to meet the challenges. We can get upset, we can curse, we can scream, however, we need to dust ourselves off too and keep moving. All I know is, I am writing my story and I’m taking it as it goes.