Learning Happiness at 19/20

Today’s entry is about the older sister year of 2020: 2009. I mentioned that starting 1 March 2020, 2020 has the same days as 2015 and 2015 had the same days as 2009. I wanted to share some of 2009 with you.

At the end of 2009, that’s when I learned of my asexuality. My first relationship ended in January 2009, after four months. I was devastated because I liked Jacob for a while. He was my friend while he was dating my friend and I lost two friends. I got into my second relationship on 4 June 2009 and that ended four months later. I think Danny was rebound, but I wasn’t really into either one of them like that. After how painful those two were, I realized that I like being single and I wanted to invest in myself.

Danny also told me I was too depressed and I went on an anti-depressant. Unfortunately, that caused more issues for four years and led to antipsychotics as well as anti-depressants, all misdiagnoses. Once I focused on my thyroid disease, then Celiac disease, my mood has improved a bit. Depression still hits me, but I don’t want to take medication. When I’m feeling depressed, I write it out, and I talk to trusted people. I’ve learned to lean into my village and anyone who doesn’t understand or wants to change me, they are not my people and they are not part of my village.

2009 is when I visited Anna in South Carolina and celebrated her 21st birthday with her. That week in Greenville/Greer was so much fun, especially visiting Ashville. Her 21st birthday is an evening I won’t forget: after dinner, Anna’s of age friends took her to the bar and I stayed at Lindsay’s house with the guys. They were also underage and we hung out in Lindsay’s jacuzzi. Lindsay also lent me a bikini. Cam and Justin were your typical Southern good ol’ boys and I had fun hanging out. Cam was also cute and Cam spent most of the time talking to me.

I met Samantha, Reese, and Marsha in 2009. Marsha and I are still friends; I fell out of contact with Samantha and Reese. Oh, I also met Kendra, Mary, Brandon (not evil Brandon), Theresa, and Alex, Mary and I are still friends too.

2009 was a year where I started to learn who I am. It’s a journey I am still on, but I know I will be on for the rest of my life.

Photos from 2009 are being a pain… so they will be added at a later date. I have to save some from Walmart.com and they aren’t saving right, others are on Photobucket and Photobucket is down.

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Creator of the Happiness Box Project Initiative, a project where you write your happiness or gratitude each day, then open the box in the New Year. The Initiative is to teach joy and gratitude, to pass it on to others.

2 thoughts on “Learning Happiness at 19/20”

  1. Hi, Jessica Marie!

    Once again I am very sorry for the loss of your family friend. I enjoyed this post flashing back to sister-sync year 2009. Clearly it was a pivotal year for you because you came to know, understand and accept who you are. You also formed friendships that have lasted all these eleven years, and that is something for which to be thankful. I applaud you for avoiding drugs and choosing to write out your depression or talk it out with trusted friends. Far too many people fall back on those mind altering crutches and continue to spiral downward. You, on the other hand, are on an upward trajectory. You can feel proud.

    I know this is not a happy period for you, given the loss of your friend, but I know you will stay strong and weather this latest storm. Take care, dear friend JM!


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