Thankful Thursday 5 December 2019

Today is another hard anniversary – 6 years since the case was dropped and I felt even worse. I remember that Thursday vividly, I was coming home after getting the news and my case worker called, I didn’t answer the phone and I never returned the call. I was too shocked and angry. I was most likely wrong, but I can’t go back and honestly, I just didn’t want to deal with what I was feeling.

Next Sunday will be 6 years since I graduated from college and this time of year usually hits me hard. I love the winter, so it’s not the season, I lost so much in 2013. I wanted to move away to Detroit and I focused the job search there instead of here; I wasted so much time and when I couldn’t find anything full-time after two years, I had to take my current job. I feel stuck because as I try to get out of the field, I get some contacts within the appeals field and I have to tell them ‘no’, I’m looking for something to utilize my English degree. This area is mostly health and finance related, so I feel defeated every year around this time.

Anyway, I have been looking back on the positives from around that time. While many people walked out and blamed me, I had many supportive people. Before I graduated, two of my co-workers from my paid internship took me out to lunch on Friday, 13 December 2013 to celebrate me and my accomplishments. I felt loved and after things happened in November 2013, they both told me that I should have called them for help; I didn’t realize I had Caeli’s phone number; both Caeli and Brittany were supportive. Looking back, now that I am coming from a place of healing, I am grateful and I wish I could have expressed it more back then.

Caeli actually reached out to me yesterday. Ironically; I wonder if she remembered and it was her way of connecting. She requested me on LinkedIn, then recommended me for many skill sets. I sent her a message. I feel grateful.

I am grateful for my friends and family. Dad is friends with a soda distributor and he ordered me Faygo, charged dad only $12 and dad said I don’t have to worry about paying him back. I have a 12 case of 24 oz. orange Faygo and I’m grateful. I’m very grateful.

What are you thankful for?

Published by

thehappinessboxproject

Creator of the Happiness Box Project Initiative, a project where you write your happiness or gratitude each day, then open the box in the New Year. The Initiative is to teach joy and gratitude, to pass it on to others.

2 thoughts on “Thankful Thursday 5 December 2019”

  1. Hi, Jessica Marie!

    Mrs. Shady and I were loading and unloading a moving truck since early this morning, helping family members in a city across the state. We just got back home. It’s going to be this way through mid February, traveling back and forth every three of four days, cleaning, packing and preparing for the big move. I will need to take three weeks off from blogging starting late next month so that we can move and get settled into our new residence. I know you will understand.

    Yessum, while it’s true that some people will walk out on you, abandon you, because they feel the need to make you wrong about something, you were in this case also blessed with people who stood by you, supported you and tried to understand what you were going through. For that you can be thankful. That should be the main takeaway every time a difficult anniversary like this one comes around. They will keep coming around, as all anniversaries do. The question is will you allow them to have power over your thoughts and feelings, or will you have the power to put them in the past and not let them sting the way they once did? You are making great strides in recent years. Even baby steps in the right direction are still progress. You are never alone on this journey.

    Enjoy the rest of your weekend, dear friend JM!

    Like

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