Planets are truly in alignment because I’ve been on a roll this week by setting boundaries and telling people “no.” Boy, does it feel good.
So, I was thinking about “Savage” and I was telling Mitch about him. I had a change of heart on Sunday and I thought, “it’s really wrong to judge him like that. We can’t always judge a book by its cover because that’s not really fair.” I unblocked him and I had a few text messages from him, mainly telling me he wasn’t going to be on the train (on Friday) because he was helping his mom deliver food to homeless shelters. I was caught off guard – “Savage” could be a good soul? I replied and then I asked him if he had any food allergies; I made GF brownies and I gave him one on Monday.
I’ve set boundaries and told him some things he says to me won’t fly and I’ll be honest with you, being asexual, I’ve come from a place where people don’t understand, don’t respect my boundaries, and have made fun of me to manipulate me. So far, he has respected it, but I am on guard. I’m going to discuss this with Mitch, I think my reaction last week was in response to how others may respond, namely people close to me. I honestly don’t care what someone looks like, I care about their character. I was always like that and lately, I’ve been thinking back to when I was at my best and I look back to my childhood and even teenage years, before college.
I used to invite people to have lunch with me and I was once nicknamed “the welcome committee” because I always “friended” the new people. I look at old yearbooks and many wrote, “thanks for welcoming me and including me when no one else wanted to be my friend.” I’m verklempt as I read that. When I worked at the senior center, a member’s son wanted her to join to get socialization, but she was unsure. My boss at the time knew me since I was a child and knew my character, I was assigned as “welcome committee” and “friend.” Wouldn’t you know that I made the woman so comfortable that she joined and at every event, she would sit next to me and invite me into her life, as I invited her into mine? I went through a very traumatic experience and while I am cautious and guarded, I don’t want to lose my spirit. This is my spirit.
Anyway, I’m surprisingly feeling thankful that I changed my mind because as I mentioned to my co-worker friend, “I was wrong.” We actually have a lot in common. And I am drawing lines in the sand and I feel good about putting boundaries out there.
I’m thankful for my friends. I’m also thankful for my sweet parents and family. What are you thankful for?