A Word As We Move Toward Spring

I have summer SAD and usually get very depressed as the temperatures climb, the days get longer, and I inch towards my birthday. Winter is the opposite and I come alive in the cold, dark days because I can catch up on sleep and enjoy outdoor festivities more so than in the summer. However, this year was an anomaly, or at least I hope it was: I felt depressed and anxious and angry this winter.

I’ll be turning 30 in four months and I’m anxious. There are days where I don’t feel like I have my life together and I want to accomplish things before I turn 35. I want to move to Canada and I get the maximum number of points as an individual under 34. I hate my full-time job, I don’t have a career and some days I feel like I will never get a job around here that will allow me to attempt Canada again and get invited to live in Canada again, also a profession that would guarantee permanent residency.

I’ve been all over the place of trying to find my what’s next. I don’t want to go into medical or insurance, I work in insurance now full-time and it’s not me. I’ve grown tired of people suggesting insurance places because that’s what matches my full-time experience, but I don’t want to continue doing things that make me unhappy. I’ve annoyed my friends and after some thinking, I really don’t know what my next will be. I guess I will have to try everything until something sticks. I have library experience, I have writing experience, tech experience, I have a lot of other experiences other than insurance. I don’t really want to teach English overseas, but honestly, I can’t knock out things if they will get me to point B.

I think successful people have more than plans A,B,C, I think they keep trying until something sticks. Also, patience is a virtue and sometimes time truly is the greatest gift. In due time, everything will make sense.

I’m going to continue to meditate, pray, and work on my Happiness Box. I can’t turn back the clock, but I can continue to keep present and focus on what I have in the here and now.


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Creator of the Happiness Box Project Initiative, a project where you write your happiness or gratitude each day, then open the box in the New Year. The Initiative is to teach joy and gratitude, to pass it on to others.

One thought on “A Word As We Move Toward Spring”

  1. Hi, Jessica Marie!

    There is great wisdom in these words, dear friend. I’ve been in your position, stuck in a job I hated. The trick is to apply the experience you have gained so far and the skill set that you have learned in your present job to a loosely related but different type of job, one that you enjoy and advances you toward your ultimate goal. Patience is key. Plan your work and work your plan. If you establish a solid track record it will help you. Remain resourceful, optimistic and professional and it will yield results.

    I hope you enjoy the rest of your week, dear friend JM!


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